Ecuador: Expats Flee in Response to Residency Requirement Change in Ecuador

DATELINE: April 1, 2016
EXPATS FLEE IN RESPONSE TO RESIDENCY REQUIREMENT CHANGE IN ECUADOR

By Russ Reina
In an attempt to boost readership of his books, Nicholas Crowder, the publisher of the on-line magazine Latin American Current Events – a valuable information-resource for both expats and would-be expats to Latin America – wrote an April Fools article for his publication. He was not prepared for the almost instantaneous reaction of North American residents in Ecuador.
The article outlined a spurious change in Ecuadorian Immigration Law that now requires expat residents in the future and back to 2008 to read his books and then be tested on what they learned to assure they have a certain level of awareness (and therefore accountability) when it comes to cultural differences and language.
It appears that under that kind of pressure, an unprecedented number of residents who have now revealed themselves as “Cultural Invaders“ have given up the ghost and headed for the hills of their Fatherlands!
“I made a real effort to make clear this was an April Fools joke,” said Mr. Crowder, “but apparently a whole bunch of folks didn’t read the article to the end.”
The word was out, even if it was a gag; adapt or leave.
“I never saw so many Gringos fill the airport so fast in my life. Most of them were carrying six and seven overweight bags which is great for our airlines but the poor Customs guys are going nuts!” said Jaime Rodondo, a twenty year veteran of the airport in Guayaquil (Spanish translations by Google.). “Just because their (censored) fit in a container coming down does NOT mean it can be crammed into a suitcase going back!”
A spokesperson for LAN estimated that reservations for one-way returns to the U.S. alone have increased 489% and he expects it to continue, “We’ve had to add on two flights each day since this article came out and by the second week of April, will have to have another 5 added flights each day until May.”
A Spokesperson for the U.S. Embassy said, “Florida has been notified. They are converting Sun Life Stadium in Miami into a holding facility. Apparently at least one-half of the 1,500 people who have already left from the Cuenca area could not afford airfare any further than Miami. It’s like someone just flushed!”
Alex Jones, an Alternative news reporter and Conspiracy Theorist commented on his show: “The last place I expected the New World Order to begin their campaign of imprisoning American citizens was through Ecuador, but here it is.”
Senator Ted Kennedy, speaking from the grave, said, “The liberal standards of this country must be preserved and we are obligated to take pains to re-absorb our Prodigal Sons no less than we were obligated to absorb my booze-running, Irish ancestors.”
Hilary Clinton said, “Their orders were to not assimilate too much. We were afraid they would put Ecuador’s interests above that of their Homeland. Okay, so it backfired; so did the Bay of Pigs!”
Ecuadorian Presidente, Rafael Correa lamented “If they only could have understood my Saturday broadcasts they would have known the decree wouldn’t last.”
An expat whom we collared at the airport gruffly reported, “Just look at what Skippy or Miracle Whip cost now due to the new import regulations. This was just the icing on the cake for me; I had one foot out the door already! Imagine, to actually be required to read up on the country I’m living in! Books? I don’t need to read no stinking books! Do I look like an insensitive creep?”
Nicholas Crowder is a writer who follows Ecuador closely to warn aspiring expats of its dangers His final comment was, “I’m not sure what this all means, but I’ll be sure to include it in my next book, “¡Bienvenidos a Ecuador! Now Go Home.”

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